Every day we interact with the people we live and work with, yet they aren’t just interactions. Often, they are important negotiations that can dramatically impact your life and career.
It’s not some random anomaly that people at the highest levels got to where they are. It’s often because of their proficient skills in negotiating. These highly successful people know how to express their viewpoints and ideas, listen to others, all while settling differences and avoiding disputes.
While it may not always be possible, the goal of effective negotiation is to build and strengthen relationships rather than undermine them. Because let’s face it, how well you can negotiate a favorable agreement or deal in your personal life or for your business can often spell the difference between failure and success.
The latter hinges on being prepared and knowing three things—who your audience is, what your objectives are (in order of importance) and what you are unwilling to compromise on. It’s also important to realize that the best outcome for one person is not necessarily the best for both. And if both pursue their best option, they will often both get the worst outcome.
Successful negotiation is a constant balancing act. A negotiator can be “soft on everything”, focusing on maintaining a relationship while making offers and conceding generously. Conversely, a negotiator can go “hard on everything”, insisting on their position, making threats and conceding stubbornly. It’s easy to imagine scenarios where each of these directions might make sense. Yet, a policy of always being soft is dangerous, while a policy of always being hard runs the risk of not making any agreements and creating bad relationships.
Win/lose may seem like the most desirable outcome on paper, as long as you are the winner, it is important to consider the bigger picture. No one likes to lose and people that feel taken advantage of are unlikely to want to work with you again and likely to be uncooperative and legalistic which in the long run, sets up the potential for a lose/lose situation.
The aim of win-win negotiation is to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties, and leaves both parties feeling that they’ve won. A good outcome from negotiations satisfies your interests well and theirs acceptably and no one feels taken.
Yes, negotiation is about knowing what you want, going after it, but it’s also important to respect the other person in the process. Remember that the whole point of win-win negotiating is compromise. This means that you need to look out for yourself, but also be willing to budge in order to satisfy both parties.
